Twenty Thirteen: A closure

..not so.

When I first signed up for this, I wasn't expecting for soft cotton candies, cute kitties with fur as fluffy as the soft cotton candies or everything else in between. I knew 2013 was going to be a tough year. and it happened.

It was not about the enjoyable rides to becoming a decent soon-to-be grown-up, it revolved around the struggle of trying to find my true self, too. I later figured out that it wasn't what you were fond of described you best, it was what you loathed the most.

I learned that nothing lasted forever, too, no matter how much you wished it would. I met new people and had been left by some old ones as well. Of course, I was taken aback by the latter back then but little did I know that you had to actually lose something you had for something better. Funny how men had created the word 'forever', fearing their own uncertainty of last-ness, because by the time you'd muttered out the last syllable, it ceased to be something that was supposed to last, disappeared into thin air and becoming a part of universal nothingness.

Even forever isn't forever.

.2013 taught me that contrary to popular belief, love wasn't about possessing. Two people with mutual affection could love and keep each other in contentment for the entirety of their existence without having to “be in a relationship” or whatnot. That was love all about, after all.

I also learned that you could never please everyone despite how hard you were trying. Grow flowers from your bones, walk on a stream of clear water, attend the best  educational institution in the world, speak only good words, wear a smile all the time, save someone from from a fire or help flood victims, you might have done those and yet still despised. That wasn't just it. You could have all the innocence in the universe contained in you and still have people going around talking behind your back.

You could never please everyone. It’d be a worthless effort if you tried. Ignorance is bliss.

Albeit the incessant moments of exasperation and the unceasing tears of disappointment, I found my silver linings, luckily. I had comforting words, pairs of hands wiping away my tears voluntarily, my laughing gas when I was in despair and 2-am calls asking if I were okay.

I couldn't ask for anything finer than these.

2013 might be a shitty year but it worth the blood, sweat and tears.

And while 2014 is upon us, like a puzzle waiting to be deciphered, let’s get ourselves ready and hope for the best.

Till then.

This is Grey B, signing off.